It all started with a post about rescue dogs and how adorable they were and how much they needed homes.

I replied that rescue cats are the same. Dan and I get our cats from shelters, ones that come up to us on the street, or ones that choose us by appearing at our door. They’re adorable and need homes, too.

My friend Donna Waller replied that cats are bougie. That took me aback. I didn’t know whether she meant that cats themselves are bougie or that people who own cats are bougie.

Are Dogs Bougie?

They are if they’re toted around in purses the way Paris Hilton does. They are if they wear diamond-studded collars. They are if their owners dress them up in precious little outfits, especially if the outfits include hats. (Come to think of it, dog owners are bougie if they carry purse-dogs or buy mixed breeds like chi-weenie (chihuahua and dachshund), pom-chi (pomeranian and chihuahua), shnoodle (schnauzer and poodle), mal-poo (maltese and poodle), or shi-poo (you can figure this one out for yourself). In fact, any dog breed that ends with poo is bougie. But I digress at length.)

Non-Bougie Cats

Rescue cats tend not to be bougie. Even when they’re mixed breeds, people don’t invent cutesy names for them. You never hear of a Siam-ersian or a Norweg-anx. (I once knew some cats that had, let’s say, some irregularities in their ancestry. The mother was a Siamese, and the kittens, like all Siamese, were entirely cream-colored at birth. But when they were old enough to develop “points” (the colors on their legs and face, like chocolate-point, or flame-, lilac-, or even blue-point), the kittens had striped points, their father having evidently been a tabby. They were definitely not bougie. But I digress at great length.)

I have also known silly cats, affectionate cats, mischievous cats, and athletic cats. I’ve known tortoiseshell cats, calico cats, tuxedo cats, ginger cats, and many varieties of tabbies. None of them were bougie. (Ginger or orange cats can be stroppy, but not bougie. One orange cat we had would bite Dan on the ankle when he stepped out of the shower. But I digress yet again.)

Truly Bougie Cats

In my opinion (not very humble at all), there are only a few types of cats that are truly bougie. First are all the cat breeds with pushed-in noses that look like they’ve been hit in the face with a nine-inch cast-iron skillet. (Please don’t mistake me. I do not advocate doing that to cats. Some of them just look like someone did. But I digress some more.) And they always look like they disapprove of you.

Flat-faced cats are the most likely to be dressed up by their owners in diamond-studded collars and frilly little outfits. Cat therapist Jackson Galaxy says that no cat should be dressed in any kind of little outfit. (The closest we ever came to doing it was placing a stray whisker on top of a dignified cat’s head and making beep-boop noises like she was an alien. What she was, was deeply offended. But I digress still more.)

So, Donna Waller, there’s your answer: Many bougie dogs, few bougie cats. And because, as I mentioned, Dan and I get strays and rescues, we’re unlikely ever to have a bougie cat. So there.