Tag Archives: cats and dogs

On the Bougieness of Pets

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It all started with a post about rescue dogs and how adorable they were and how much they needed homes.

I replied that rescue cats are the same. Dan and I get our cats from shelters, ones that come up to us on the street, or ones that choose us by appearing at our door. They’re adorable and need homes, too.

My friend Donna Waller replied that cats are bougie. That took me aback. I didn’t know whether she meant that cats themselves are bougie or that people who own cats are bougie.

Are Dogs Bougie?

They are if they’re toted around in purses the way Paris Hilton does. They are if they wear diamond-studded collars. They are if their owners dress them up in precious little outfits, especially if the outfits include hats. (Come to think of it, dog owners are bougie if they carry purse-dogs or buy mixed breeds like chi-weenie (chihuahua and dachshund), pom-chi (pomeranian and chihuahua), shnoodle (schnauzer and poodle), mal-poo (maltese and poodle), or shi-poo (you can figure this one out for yourself). In fact, any dog breed that ends with poo is bougie. But I digress at length.)

Non-Bougie Cats

Rescue cats tend not to be bougie. Even when they’re mixed breeds, people don’t invent cutesy names for them. You never hear of a Siam-ersian or a Norweg-anx. (I once knew some cats that had, let’s say, some irregularities in their ancestry. The mother was a Siamese, and the kittens, like all Siamese, were entirely cream-colored at birth. But when they were old enough to develop “points” (the colors on their legs and face, like chocolate-point, or flame-, lilac-, or even blue-point), the kittens had striped points, their father having evidently been a tabby. They were definitely not bougie. But I digress at great length.)

I have also known silly cats, affectionate cats, mischievous cats, and athletic cats. I’ve known tortoiseshell cats, calico cats, tuxedo cats, ginger cats, and many varieties of tabbies. None of them were bougie. (Ginger or orange cats can be stroppy, but not bougie. One orange cat we had would bite Dan on the ankle when he stepped out of the shower. But I digress yet again.)

Truly Bougie Cats

In my opinion (not very humble at all), there are only a few types of cats that are truly bougie. First are all the cat breeds with pushed-in noses that look like they’ve been hit in the face with a nine-inch cast-iron skillet. (Please don’t mistake me. I do not advocate doing that to cats. Some of them just look like someone did. But I digress some more.) And they always look like they disapprove of you.

Flat-faced cats are the most likely to be dressed up by their owners in diamond-studded collars and frilly little outfits. Cat therapist Jackson Galaxy says that no cat should be dressed in any kind of little outfit. (The closest we ever came to doing it was placing a stray whisker on top of a dignified cat’s head and making beep-boop noises like she was an alien. What she was, was deeply offended. But I digress still more.)

So, Donna Waller, there’s your answer: Many bougie dogs, few bougie cats. And because, as I mentioned, Dan and I get strays and rescues, we’re unlikely ever to have a bougie cat. So there.

Fur-Babies and the Other Kind

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Lots of people refer to their pets as “fur-babies.” Other people think it’s disrespectful to human babies and their parents. I’m here to weigh in on the debate about which kind of baby is better.

I’ve had cats for many years. I almost never refer to them as fur-babies.

I do treat them like babies, however. I babble baby talk at them. I cradle them in my arms like babies (if they let me). I give them cutesie nicknames (like ToTo BooBoo). I’ve never had to bottle-feed a kitten, but you’d better believe I would. And I’ve even zerberted a cat whose belly had been shaved. It made a “foof” noise. (Autocorrect wanted to change “zerberted” to “perverted.” It has a point. But I digress.)

When I married, all I could offer my in-laws were grand-kittens and grand-puppies. It wasn’t that we couldn’t have human babies. We just never did. (Fortunately, Dan’s brother took care of that duty, and his kids have supplied assorted great-grands, four of whom are even close enough to visit Mom Reily. She has cats, too. I don’t know if she calls them fur-babies. But I digress again.)

One thing that people who do call their cats (and maybe their dogs) fur-babies do is dress them up in precious little outfits. I can’t approve of it. I’m with cat guru Jackson Galaxy on that issue. Maybe at Halloween, just for the day, but forget about little Easter outfits. Cats are not known for appreciating bonnets. I think they’re almost guaranteed to shred them, and there goes your investment. Dogs may be more accommodating, but they just look goofy (or Goofy).

Many comparisons can be made between baby types. Both kinds have their own little personalities, play adorably, and are great to cuddle. Both human babies and fur-babies are endlessly distracting and good for some laughs.

It takes a couple of years to potty-train a human baby and get them to eat people-food. Kittens come practically litter-trained and are able to eat kitten-food as soon as they’re old enough to leave their mama. (They can also eat people-food, though it’s not advisable. But I’ve had cats that have eaten and enjoyed pumpkin, corn, bread (one would tear open a loaf of bread and eat a couple of slices, making croutons of the rest), doughnuts, and chocolate bars (yes, yes, I know, those are bad for pets, but Anjou suffered no ill effects.) But I digress some more.)

Fur-babies are superior to human babies because you don’t have to save for their college or worry about them boosting cars or getting into any drugs other than catnip. Throughout their lives, it’s possible to pick them up and hold them (unless we’re talking St. Bernards).

Human babies are superior to fur-babies because, after a certain amount of time, they can talk and tell you what’s causing them distress. (Until then, they equal fur-babies in yowling and howling.) They do cool things like graduate from high school and college and get married. (Both fur-babies and human babies are eventually capable of producing offspring, of course. I don’t know of any trap-neuter-release strategies for human babies. That would just be wrong. But I digress yet again.)

I must admit to preferring fur-babies. But human babies are superior to fur-babies in one major regard—you can expect them to live a good long time (barring unfortunate circumstances, of course). You’re lucky if your fur-babies live 20 years—most don’t make it that long.

If you have fur-babies, you must prepare yourself for losing a being that you love dearly. I won’t say that you love them as much as you’d love a human baby, but their loss does leave a hole in your heart that even another fur-baby can’t totally fill. You may swear that you’ll never get another one, but somehow you always do, even knowing that that fur-baby’s life is limited too. They’re addictive that way.

We put ourselves through it again and again for the love of fur-babies. Their lives may be limited, but love and sorrow balance out in some equation that’s emotional, not mathematical. Love never is.