Tag Archives: comfort

Deconstructing the Woobie

Right now, I am snuggled up in a blue woobie. What’s that, you say? I’ll digress at length on the subject.

There’s a role-reversal comedy movie from 1983 starring Michael Keaton, Teri Garr, Martin Mull, and Ann Jillian. The plot is very ’80s: worker at an auto plant loses his job; his wife gets one at an advertising agency; and he becomes Mr. Mom. So far, so standard.

But the movie is genuinely funny and worth a look. Yes, it covers a lot of the cliches regarding rising business star vs. stay-at-home dad. But the ensemble cast and the comic timing make it a film that really ought to be better appreciated. (This whole section of my post has been a digression.)

In the movie, one of the children has a security blanket, which he refers to as his “woobie.” (Psychologists call it a “comfort object,” but my husband and I like “woobie” better. But I digress again.) Wiktionary defines “woobie” as “any object, typically a blanket, garment, or stuffed animal, that is used simply for its comforting characteristics; a security blanket.”

Elizabeth, the fashion influencer

(Apparently, “woobie” also describes a military “Liner, Wet Weather Poncho.” Soldiers call it a “woobie” because it’s their essential comfort blanket in the field. Maybe so. I would like anyone with expertise in the area of wet-weather poncho liners to verify this. But I digress yet again.)

My sister and I each had a woobie when we were children. Hers was a square of soft but sturdy woven fabric named “Tag.” Mine was a flannel sheet I called “Fluffy.” I think Fluffy was the better security blanket because I could—and did—wrap myself entirely in it and, essentially, hide when I needed to.

Lots of my grown-up friends have comfort objects, although they don’t refer to them as “woobies,” as far as I know. Dan’s only friend John had a small plush rabbit that he took to his sleep study. I did the same because they wouldn’t let me bring a live cat.

Sometimes plushies get names even weirder than “woobie.” I have one that I call “Pandacoon” because I’m not sure whether it’s meant to be a panda or a raccoon. A friend has a plushie that he can’t identify as either a yak or a buffalo. He calls it “Dr. Yakalo, Psychic Travel Agent.” (No, I don’t know how it got that job.) Another indefinable plushie is “Huskie Bear,” which might be either a dog or a teddy bear.

Most of the woobies I’ve had over the years have been bunnies. It was a tradition in our family that Easter baskets came with a plush rabbit as well as candy. Above (right) is a woobie rabbit that I won in an Easter raffle. I named her Elizabeth (she wasn’t psychic). My mother found fabric that exactly matched Elizabeth’s outfit and made me a dress to match.

Antonio (not the surgeon)

I do have one cat woobie (at left). My husband got it for me on the occasion of having my knee replaced, and I named it Antonio, after my surgeon. He (the woobie, not the surgeon) was too large to cuddle with at night in the single bed at the post-acute facility, so he lived on the shelf across the room. Most people never noticed him, big and orange though he was, but I could see him clearly from my bed and was quite pleased to have him watching over me.

I once received a mystery woobie. At Christmas, a friend presented me a box which, when I opened it, contained a few strands of differently colored wool. She gave me no hint of what it would be and told me that I would receive the actual present at a later date. Then (I later learned) she spent the next few months knitting and, sometime in April, presented me with a lovely, multicolored blanket woobie. It wasn’t Linus’s security blanket, but it made me just as happy.

A Cat in the Night

Cats have a reputation for being aloof and unemotional. I’m here to tell you that’s not true. (They also have reputations for being graceful, which anyone who’s seen a cat fall off a window ledge can testify is unfounded. There are plenty of online videos that prove it too. But I digress.)

Actually, cats have wide emotional ranges, which can include anything from passive to pissed-off. One of our previous cats, Maggie, could snub a person so thoroughly that they knew they had been well and truly snubbed.

But every now and then, a cat will read your emotions and give you exactly what you need.

We have a cat named Toby. He’s generally happy-go-lucky, with a trace of skittishness. He doesn’t purr much, but he makes crazy sounds like “ma-weep” that I don’t know how he can do without proper lips. He does like to cuddle when we’re on the sofa or the comfy chair, either nestled in my husband’s arms or draped across my capacious bosom. (If I were a different sort of writer, I would have titled this “Bosom Buddies.” But I digress. Again.) At night our other cat, Dushenka, snuggles up by Dan’s head, while Toby sometimes curls up by my feet, to be joined by Dushenka if Dan starts rocking and rolling too much in his sleep.

This day, though, I had simply had enough. Dan forgot to pick up something I needed when he went to the store. I was still suffering the aftereffects of dental surgery and was sorely sick of eating broth and mush, enlivened only by peanut butter or the occasional scrambled egg. Something I ordered arrived but wasn’t right. It wasn’t a day when big problems unexpectedly dropped in my lap. It was a day when I felt like I was being nibbled to death by ducks.

I sat on the sofa beside Dan, tears slowly trickling down my face, which he didn’t see. Later he claimed he did but didn’t know what to do about it, which is in some ways worse.

At last, we went to bed and Dushenka curled up next to hubby as usual. Dan went promptly to sleep, a thing I can never manage to pull off. I lay in bed, tears still trickling, making small puddles in my ears.

Then Toby came, and lay next to me, his furry little head resting on my arm. And he stayed with me. He would sometimes move a little, twist around to find a better position. But he always ended up in some configuration with his head on my arm. He was a soothing presence, giving me just what I needed – silent comfort and undemanding physical contact.

We stayed like that for hours. Once in a while, I reached to touch him, but it didn’t seem to disturb him. It was me and Toby, communing through the long, dark hours of the night.

Eventually, I was calm and reassured enough to sleep, and I turned on my side, the only way I ever sleep. Toby retreated to his usual position alongside my feet, close enough to return to his protective, gently soothing position if I needed his presence again. But I slept through the rest of the night, dreamless, and awoke calm, ready to face the next day and all its ducks. Knowing that Toby was there if I needed him.

More gushy food for Toby! (And Dushenka)

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A Room of My Own

So, we bought a house, a couple of decades ago. It had three bedrooms, which seems a lot, since there’s only my husband and myself. We seldom had overnight guests, and when we did there was a pull-out sofa bed.

What did we do with the two extra rooms? Media center? Exercise room? Yoga studio?

No. One became my study. I needed a place to write my stories, articles, blogs, books, and draft my novel. Someplace where I wouldn’t be disturbed (or could be as disturbed as I like).

Then, of course, so my husband shouldn’t be left out, the other spare room became a study, too. It wasn’t a “man cave,” since neither one of us believes in those things. But it was a place where he could store his curios and fossils, watch TV or do research on the computer, hang his favorite artworks, house his books and DVDs, and just generally kick back.

Then along came the tornado that destroyed our house. It gave me the opportunity to start all over with my study, make it into my refuge as well as my writing space, and decorate it from the ground up – literally.

I’ve included a few pictures of my study for illustration purposes. It’s not really as orange as it looks in the photos, more the clay-like color of used bricks. The carpet is a deep tan. The ceiling, blinds, and windowsills are white. The furniture is a collection of different colored woods, including both new and used pieces. Several of them have electrical outlets and USB ports to accommodate my collection of electronic spaghetti.

Here’s a few highlights of my study:

  • a desk and desk chair, of course, facing a window
  • a bookcase, of course
  • a Mac desktop computer
  • a two-drawer wooden file cabinet that serves as a printer stand
  • my Cornell diploma and an EdPress award
  • a comfy chair in a color called spice, just a shade or two deeper than the walls
  • several pieces of art, including a piece of calligraphy by Dr. Masaaki Hatsumi and a drawing by Debbie Ohi with a quote from Neil Gaiman
  • a Venice carnival-style cat mask
  • a TV and a stand for it, which will also hold my Mr. Coffee machine
  • a cat tree by the window (the window sills are also wide enough for them)
  • assorted plush animals, knick-knacks, and such travel souvenirs as survived the tornado
  • a lamp and a tissue box made to look like old books
  • a concrete armadillo, which serves as my doorstop

I don’t have as many books as I used to, which I know to some is a sacrilege, but now I have them on my e-readers. I still have print copies of The Annotated Alice, The Annotated Gilbert & Sullivan, and several signed mystery and science fiction novels. My CD collection is likewise gone, replaced by iTunes on my computer and my iPod. I have a few DVDs that are special to me, which will reside in my TV stand, along with more plush animals and knick-knacks.

My study is far from finished. I still don’t know how to disguise or hide the powerstrips. Some of the artwork needed restoring, and much of it still needs hanging. My bookshelf is new (to me) and needs to be filled. Somewhere in the basement, I have a decorative wall-hanging brass shelf that I haven’t quite figured out where to put.

At any rate, it’s still a work in progress, but rapidly taking shape. It’s warm and cozy, relatively quiet (after the neighbors get their houses built, I mean). And it feels good to have, as Virginia Woolf said, “a room of one’s own.”