“Now, wait a minute” (I hear you cry). “You don’t even like people. I’ve heard you complain when you have to go somewhere, and it’s ‘too people-y’ out there. I know you avoid being in large groups. You are perfectly happy alone in your study. Maybe you like people, but you love cats.”

Yeah, well. All that is true. I couldn’t deny it if I tried with both hands. But while I dislike large groups of strangers, I love individual people. I even love groups of people when they are doing something interesting, like playing music and singing. Even then, I prefer my groups of people small. Sometimes I’ll brave larger groups of people to be somewhere with people playing music and singing. (I did it for Emmylou Harris, for example, and am going to do it again for The Stray Cats.)

The truth is, I love certain kinds of people. They’re not limited by age, race, religion, ethnicity, handicap status, gender orientation, or the usual dividing lines. I love different people in all those categories, from people I interact with in my daily life to people I know only online or admire from afar.

The people I love have several things in common. I love people who…

Improve

People who improve are those who put in the work, practice, and get better at what they do. I met a man years ago who played the guitar. He was having trouble with barre chords, a specific technique he needed to play his music. When I saw him, he was struggling. He could have given up and used a capo to get a similar effect. Instead, he kept at it. Years later, he’s known in certain circles as an excellent songwriter who skillfully accompanies himself on his guitar. Sometimes I remind him of what he was able to do when we met and how far he’s come since then.

Try new things

These people take a leap of faith in matters large and small, not knowing in advance what the results will be. They try sushi for the first time. They start writing a short story or a poem or a novel, just because they want to. As a friend of mine says, they leap and trust that the net will appear. I know a woman, an artist who has experimented with many different media and techniques over the years. She has worked in fabric arts, stained glass, and jewelry. She has settled into her career of painting in oils, but she still tries different styles and schools like cubism. Now she is exploring the possibilities of colored pencils.

Have a checkered past

I love people who have had many interests and experiences over the years, even if not all were successful or even positive. I knew a man who had gone to seminary, become a police officer, and worked in parks and recreation. He got past a difficult period in midlife, including problems with alcohol, and eventually turned to helping others. His multitude of experiences made him a fascinating conversationalist and a compassionate listener.

Keep an open mind

My mother is my example here. She was a very religious woman. One day, her fellow believers were discussing other religions and brought up the question of whether they would ever visit a synagogue or a mosque. All of them said no, until they got to Mom. She said that, of course, she would. When asked why, she replied, “If I didn’t listen to them, how could I expect them to listen to me?”

Have a sense of humor

It largely doesn’t matter what their sense of humor finds funny. Bad puns. Song parodies. One-liners. Musical comedy. Satire. Witty wordplay. Politicians of all stripes are fair game. And religious jokes are welcome. Most of all, I love people who find humor in everyday life. The world needs more people like that.

It occurs to me that the qualities I love in other people are ones that I aspire to. I want to live a life that is varied and full of humor. I would like to think that I have an open mind and a willingness to try new things. I want to improve. The people I love are inspirations and role models for me. I just hope I live up to them.